4.5K (the guy formerly known as 6K)

I received an email with the subject heading "Your dateable" (the quotation is there because these are not my typos). Laughing, because this statement seems obvious to me seeing that he found me on a dating site, I open the email to find a list of reasons he will date me. I over look his strange approach because I think it's funny to be analyzed to this extent when he has never met me. I wrote back that it was such a relief that he could tell that I was datable from my profile alone! He explained that he wasn't usually this forward but he wanted my number because his membership expired in a few days and he really wanted to get to know the 5 dimensional me. I'm not sure I have 5 dimensions... but what the heck, right!? I give him my number with instructions not to call me that following day. I had a full day at work and then had to catch a plane to San Diego. No time for chit chat but anytime after that would be just fine. I'm standing in line for security check in the airport when my phone rings. Apparently he wanted to shoot the breeze then even though I said another time would be better. This is what he told me over the coarse of three phone conversations. He has been divorced 4 years. He has two daughters (16 & 13). He had a son die at 4 months old and he has never come to terms with this. He worked as a Pizza Hut delivery driver for 14 years at $5 an hour + tips. He thought this was a good living. He went back to school at 35 because he was tired of smelling like pizza. He got a degree in Recreational Science (which I think translates loosely to a degree in recess). He's been unemployed for over two years. He has no drive to get a job. He lives with mom and dad. He knows his wife had borderline personality disorder. If this is true he should be getting paid to be a doctor (because that is a tough thing to diagnose) and not be unemployed. Right before his wife left him he was thrown in jail for three days for assault and battery charges against his wife, mother-in-law, and two brother-in-laws. His side of the story didn't really add up, but I guess he was released and it's not on his record. Yeah. When his wife left he grabbed a sleeping bag and headed to Yellowstone for a 70 mile solo experience. At this point he was not an experienced adventurer. Plus he is an insulin dependant diabetic that suffers from sever depression. Not a smart move to do that alone cowboy! He admitted to earning 6 thousand dollars in 2009. This is when I started calling him 6K. That means about $125 a week. He's on food stamps and other government and church assistance. He's hoping he made 9K in 2010. He is so far behind on his child support he may never catch up. He told me that he is not at all motivated by money. Really!? He is the oldest of seven. Someone sold him a car for $1 because they felt so bad for him. His words, not mine. He currently runs a pull rope on a ski hill for another state. The state pays him nothing for this but he gets to keep 100% of the ticket sales for his trouble. It costs $5 for an all day pass to use his tow rope. He made $10 his first weekend. He thinks this is a good job. He was offered a job as a manager at Pizza Hut and turned down the position because he could make more as a driver. So instead of getting a promotion he sits unemployed and uninsured with no benefits. He also told me that he'll need sex on a regular basis. He thinks we are meant to be together. He clarified in a later conversation that he actually didn't make 6K in 2009, he made 4.5K. I know what you're thinking. What am I waiting for, right? I shouldn't let this Muppet looking 40 year old that is unmotivated, unemployed, behind on his child support, adventurer out of my sight! That's why I called my dad and told him that he should plan on me getting married real soon. I, like 4.5K, can hear those wedding bells chime! Wait... or is it domestic abuse sirens I hear? It doesn't matter! This is true love...